When grandparents or other relatives step in to care for children, there is usually a family crisis or chronic problem. It can be a challenge to juggle raising children while dealing with family challenges.If the grandchildren get upset by their parents coming in and out of their lives it may be time to set boundaries to provide stability for your grandchildren. Many children want to spend time with their parents but end up feeling let down if their parents are erratic and unreliable. If life isn’t stable, your grandchildren may be confused and feel badly about themselves. Sometimes this can cause behavior problems or mental health issues for your grandchildren.It might be helpful to ask an objective third party to help you work out a schedule for visits with the parents, along with rules and responsibilities. Try to be flexible but have clear limits or boundaries. Work together to do what’s best for your grandchildren; their needs are top priority. A trained mediator can help, or a trained faith professional, counselor or family friend.If you go to court for custody or guardianship, you can ask the court to set up a regular schedule for when and where your grandchildren’s parents can spend time with them (visitation). Sometimes the court says parents can only have “supervised” visitation, which means they cannot be alone with the child.If you hope that your grandchildren’s parents will one day be able to raise your grandchildren again, keep in mind that it’s helpful for the children to have an ongoing relationship with their parents - even if it is rocky at times.When a family member is in jail or prison, it is a loss for everyone. It might be good for the children to have some contact with their parents, but it’s not a good idea to force them to visit, call or write. If all contact with the parent is cut off, the child may have more feelings of grief and loss. Some prisons have social services, chaplains, or visitor services that can hep you plan visits and learn about the best ways to have contact with the prisoner.It may be difficult to console your grandchild after the loss of a parent – and you are grieving too. Allow everyone in the family to feel sad and take time to grieve in their own way. Some children may withdraw and be quiet. Others may act ...
